Bad Mood Humorist T-Shirts

"I'm in a bad mood today: sit down!"

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

Actually, I prefer to think of my body as repurposed.

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

Fakir Shrink.

"Every now and then, I get an overpowering urge to wear a cowbell."

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

Psychobabble.

Death Watch

"So, Michael, any pesticidal thoughts today?"

'I know how you feel.'

Shrink's Summer Job

Eskimo Breaking Wind

"Westwood psychiatric group... How may I direct your cry for help?"

"Ooh, Igor — a dead rat! You shouldn’t have!"

Preserved head and mobile phone.

"I don't feel like I'm making any progress, it's like I'm just chasing my tail again."

"They’re burying him with his Xanax."

Are you getting enough "me" time, Al? Oh, more than enough, Doctor