Macabre Humorist Gifts

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

'Got him... got him... got him... need him...'

'Ah! At last I've found my glasses.'

"He loved New York."

"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

"Ooh, Igor — a dead rat! You shouldn’t have!"

"What can I say? Tough split."

Pizza's here!

Actually, I prefer to think of my body as repurposed.

Impending flea powder usage on a dog causes many tiny angels of death to stand ready.

'You can come back as a zombie OR a ghost, Randy, but not both.'

Dancing with death.

Preserved head and mobile phone.

How to make a corpse.

101 uses of a dead cat: toast fork

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"The Eggsorcist"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

Meowlzebub

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

"Do you see the one who possessed your soul?"

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

'..and one for the pot.'

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."