Macabre Humor Buff Gifts

"Oh, the picture tote just helps me keep them organized."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

Cat Nip.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

Cheeze Wiz.

'He does lack social skills.'

The Golfing Accident

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

'Try and be pleasant dear, you don't want to alienate it.'

Wedding disaster #27.

"And would you like flies with that?"

Milk Bar - "Don't you think you've had enough?"

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

"I've told you kids - that's not a toy!"

'We're well positioned, but we lack leadership.'

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"Beware of God"

Podiatry. The greated podiatrist of all time, you say? Yep. I studied at his feet.

Vampire collects bottles of blood from his doorstep.

The Quotable Ben Franklin. To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals. And not flying thy kite during thunderstorms might help, too!

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup, sir - Too many censorship problems.'

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

"While you were out, the staff whittled away your desk into a totem pole."

'Ah, business as usual.'