Macabre Humorists Gifts

'Well have a good trip and remember to send us a compostcard!'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Here we are."

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

"Well, we got the grant."

'Looks like this part of the beach has been claimed.'

One of Dracula's 'coffin mournings'.

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

Transylvanian Snails.

4-Panel: (1) 'Did you read this article on cockroaches?' (2) 'It says scientists have confirmed conditioned reflexes in cockroaches, just like Pavlov's dogs. I don't know if I believe that!' (4) 'What's for dinner?'

Newton discovers surrealism

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

"I just love take-out."

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

'I'm organic.'

Lie detector, "It's a goddam liar bird all right."

"The most common adverse vaccine reaction after the first dose is trying to get the second dose."

Robot porn.

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

The Grim Rapper

'Bad man... you're a bad man!'

Eggs That Were Anagarms In Past Lives -'Unscramble Me'.

Busking Elephant