Devilish Humorists Gifts

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

"How about us teaching you a couple of deadly sins you don't even know about?"

"Thanks for bringing the party mix, but. . ."

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

Meowlzebub

Demonic Repossession.

One of Dracula's 'coffin mournings'.

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

"We remain reasonably confident that once we nail down the little network problem we're having, all Hell will be able to break loose according to the modified schedule, which, unfortunately, is in a file we can't seem to locate right now."

Bat out of Hell

"Do you see the one who possessed your soul?"

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

'Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards.'

Publish and Be Damned

"Cultural diversity is all very well, but our immigration officers don't have to put up with their bloody harp picking 24 hours a day!"

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

'They come down here to smoke.'

'I've been married to your sister for 9 years, so why should I be scared of you?'

'Okay, buddy, where's the fire?'

"Your call is very important to us. Please hold the line...for eternity!"

Chip off the old Anti-Christ.

Summer in Hell

"But. . . Don't you want Santa to fill your stocking?"

The day the Times never once mentioned Michael Ovitz

Devil reading ransom note: We have your thermostat.

'This is why I had to pad my resume.'

'This is an amicable split. Coach O'Neill has done a great job. We just have different ideas...'

"Up, please."

'To be honest, rock n'roll isn't my thing at all, I'm much more a country n'western kinda guy.'

'I've got to watch my health - I'm Type 2 diabolic!'

Hell's Smoking Section

"Go on, clear off you ruddy pervert and don't come back."

Soul Music

"Are you coming in, it's lovely and warm?"