Devilish Humor Aficionados Gifts

'At last, an ethics committee that will listen to reason!'

"Puss in cement boots"

"It's a beautiful world out there, just waiting to be discovered. Well, discovered by one of you, the rest will almost certainly die."

"Any references?"

Going Down?

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

They grow up so fast, so we're already putting money away for bail.

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

'It's a new medication I'm working on, but the side effects are monsterous.'

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

'No. No. Don't bomb them now. Wait until morning, when the birds are singing and the air is alive with a sense of possibility.'

"You're in luck! Business ethics is a grey area, we're sending you back!"

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

Publish and Be Damned

'Please feel free to take me out of context.'

CCTV on torture cage.

"Cultural diversity is all very well, but our immigration officers don't have to put up with their bloody harp picking 24 hours a day!"

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

"Thank you for not praying."

Louie 'The Egg' Spignoli, The Hangman's Nightmare

'Well, in all my years as a relationships adviser, this is the first time I've had to admit defeat within the first five minutes!'

'Mum said I take after your side of the family, Dad!'

Here's the idea - A Christmas 'feel good' movie with a slasher twist. The title, 'It's a wonderful knife'.

"U R like so ded!"

"What a pro."

'Okay, buddy, where's the fire?'

'At least he died with a smile on his face.'

'Welcome Aboard, Matie!'

When magic tricks go wrong.

No necking in public

"It's talk like a pirate day."

The Next Police Chief