Macabre Humor Aficionado Gifts

"Remember that weekend in Saint-Tropez when you tried to eat my small intestine?"

BEWARE of man-eating palm tree.

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Another day at work would be one too many...

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

"The Eggsorcist"

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

"And this is our new HR officer in charge of morale..."

"The boss told me I have to start at the bottom."

"Any references?"

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

"Are you Matthew Jones with a double 'T'?"

Vlad the Wholesaler

"Congratulations! You've made the short-list for who we're blaming."

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'