Macabre Humor Gifts

It's a wonderful death

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'... And this is my cellar.'

Out To Lurch

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

Another day at work would be one too many...

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

The practical psychopath

Zombies.

"Housekeeping?!"

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"The Eggsorcist"

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

End the Winter Blues

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

Optimist

"Look, I'm dying. Gotta go."

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"