Magical Humorists Gifts

"Here we are."

Polly txt speak

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

The First Fire Stick

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Alien embryo growing in earth.

Radiator jazz player

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"She's a miniature."

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Giant Monster in Bath

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"He looks just like your husband."

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."