Magical Humorists Gifts

"Here we are."

Polly txt speak

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

The First Fire Stick

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

Alien embryo growing in earth.

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

Giant Monster in Bath

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"She's a miniature."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"He looks just like your husband."

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'