Bad Habit Humorist Pillows

A bad habit promotes evolution.

'Burl always has to walk around the house when he brushes his teeth. . . he can't sit still for a minute.'

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

I'm sure it's fake.

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

The Dandy

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

Flight Socks.

'Click it or ticket.'

"I found an old photo of us, when we were punk rockers... Didn't we look ridiculous?"

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

"I'm in a bad mood today: sit down!"

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

Cat scares away fish design on man's shirt.

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

'Let's face it, we're not meant to wear hats...'

"I'm thinking of waxing my back."

Where Pleather Comes From

"Arr! This isn't the map to the treasure, it's the map to me winter sweaters."

'My tux is at the cleaners.'

Misguided Hairstyles of The Animal World.

'It's royal Stilton, put a tie on.'

"Do you do these in sheep?"

"I'm only wearing one globe because the weather forecast said that toay it might be warm, but on the other hand it might be cold."

"Father Fondell. . . your confessional is ready."

"They're mire aesthetic than practical."