Bad Driver Humor Gifts

'Guess what? I'm going to be on 'World's Worst Drivers'!'

'We must be getting near the docks, dearest - you're hitting more sailors.'

"I need to tinkle."

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

Kick-line Deer Crossing. A kick-line of deer cross the road Radio City Rockettes style.

"We need to talk about your driving. Some of your passengers have been complaining."

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

Ducks crossing.

'Would you watch where you're going already.'

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Installing one of the new 'Buck Bridges' reduced Bob's auto insurance by 21%.

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

Backseat Predators

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

'Until 1989 I never had an accident...then I bought a car.'

'Surely you can't book me for laughing, officer'

'I've been glamped!'

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

'To hell with high gas prices!'

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

Speed Limit

Drinker at bar: 'No more for me, thanks. Any more and I slur the words I'm texting in the car...'

'Hey -- Watch it with the tailgating'

Right lane ends 500 feet. . .Cheer up - it begins again 3 miles.

Man driving in tree to wife: 'I think we're lost.'

Detour 50c.

Salt flats - 100mi. Low sodium salt flats - 150mi.

"Watch out Stan, we've got a tail-gater."

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.

Stop at the next chemist please, I've run out of tranquilizers.

Chief, call you back. Something's come up.

"Okay...when the light turns red, you stop. When the light turns green, you go."

This lane reserved for average persons only.

Caution: Armed Student Driver

Crash test dummy standing by his car.A sign on it says 'My other car is a write off'.