Learner Driver Humor Gifts

Stop at the next chemist please, I've run out of tranquilizers.

Bob's Driving School.

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

'There's that funny squealing again - I think it's coming from your side.'

"Lollipop man, dear.. what lollipop man?"

Installing one of the new 'Buck Bridges' reduced Bob's auto insurance by 21%.

A learner driver crashes into lamp post

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

Backseat Predators

A Student Driver Meets a Learning Curve

'Guess what? I'm going to be on 'World's Worst Drivers'!'

'Dad thought it would be safer if I started with a golf cart.'

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

"Must you go 'beep beep beep' every time you back up?"

'Check your blind spot'

"Could we try parking again please, Mr. Zog?"

'Okay, at the T in the road, go straight.'

Driver under instruction

"Watch out Stan, we've got a tail-gater."

"No, Mr. Smith. You can't go and wheel spin outside Edna's chip shop."

Right lane ends 500 feet. . .Cheer up - it begins again 3 miles.

Man driving in tree to wife: 'I think we're lost.'

'How can I concentrate on my driving test, if you keep screaming like that?!'

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.

'Fortunately, the only person hit was a snowman. . .'

'Remember: mirror, signal, manoeuvre...'

'You know perfectly well what 'Stop and fill her up' means, Mr.Wainwright!'

"The Accelerator."

"Flashed again....Anyone would think I was on full beam!"

'Okay, which ones are the bad guys?'

'Perhaps that will shut you up!'

when you hear me scream' oh my god you're going to kill us...stop the f***** car'' then I'd like you to apply the emergency brake

Learner driver conned into being a getaway driver