Bad Driver Humorist Gifts

'Would you watch where you're going already.'

"I need to tinkle."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Beware of SUV.'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

"Okay. Hit it."

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

Installing one of the new 'Buck Bridges' reduced Bob's auto insurance by 21%.

Speed Checked By Radar.

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

'I've been glamped!'

The Magician world's version of Fluffy dice.

'Guess what? I'm going to be on 'World's Worst Drivers'!'

'Until 1989 I never had an accident...then I bought a car.'

'Surely you can't book me for laughing, officer'

Motorway lane for 'Pricks and idiots only'.

It's just until I stop chasing cars.

'To hell with high gas prices!'

'When you get your permit, you get to sit over here in the driver's seat.'

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

I take it back - He's not writing a text and driving, he's illustrating a text and driving.

Salt flats - 100mi. Low sodium salt flats - 150mi.

Out of Bumper Stickers.

Detour 50c.