Bad Driver Humorist Gifts

'Would you watch where you're going already.'

"I need to tinkle."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

'Beware of SUV.'

"Okay. Hit it."

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

Speed Checked By Radar.

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

'Surely you can't book me for laughing, officer'

The Magician world's version of Fluffy dice.

'Until 1989 I never had an accident...then I bought a car.'

Motorway lane for 'Pricks and idiots only'.

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

'I've been glamped!'

'When you get your permit, you get to sit over here in the driver's seat.'

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

'To hell with high gas prices!'

Man driving in tree to wife: 'I think we're lost.'

Out of Bumper Stickers.

'Hey -- Watch it with the tailgating'

Salt flats - 100mi. Low sodium salt flats - 150mi.