Baby Development Gifts

"Wouldn't a teething ring be better than a house-brick?"

"I think it's time we learned to stand up for our selves."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"They grow up so fast."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

My First Camera

Baby Piano

"She's been so creative lately."

"He likes it."

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Pool attached to child's bed.

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'The child is very illogical'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"That's not how I sat on you."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.