Baby Gifts

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

Baby reaching food using building blocks.

We tried rocking her to sleep, but she still seems tired and cranky.

'Occupational hazard.'

Future Micro MGR.

'Wait a second. . . where's his license to parent?'

'Please tell me it shoots laser beams out of its eyes.'

"I told you shaken, not stirred."

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

Teddy sweeping up zzz

Mother reading baby 'How to write your first novel'

Drink?

"Goal!"

Baby Loser

"There! Now let's hear no more noise about wanting a glass of water!"

"Today is my second birthday and I wanted to let you know that I intend to take full advantage of my terrible twos!"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Bond James, Bond."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"His first out-of-body experience."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'I told you it would be useful.'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

The cell phone soother for life.

Pool attached to child's bed.