Children's Development Gifts

"It's not that I don't want a baby brother - it's just that this is a bad time for me developmentally."

'This is a great new computer-generated test. It's for first graders, and it tell you which graduate schools they'll qualify for.'

'I'm not sure if he plays that loud because he has a good set of lungs or if it's a mean streak in him.'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"They grow up so fast."

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

"She's been so creative lately."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"He likes it."

'The child is very illogical'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

'What's play?'

Twenty-first century baby walker

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"When did she start crawling?"

"So, what do you do for play?"

Baby Mozart.

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'