Child Development Enthusiast Gifts

Child Development: 'He's developing just fine, those babies in the commercials aren't really talking.'

'You'll have to excuse George: he suffers from perfectly normal child disorder.'

'Statistically, drooling is only cute for the first six months. After that we'll have to start screaming in public to get any kind of attention.'

"It's a lot of pressure on me not to pressure him."

"My son's only a year old and he's been walking for 3 months..."

'Would you like me to have a word with educational psychologist about Julie?'

'He gets away with everything! †I wish I had low self-esteem!'

'Soon he will stop asking where he came from and start telling you where he is going.'

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

"Kids mature so fast these days. Let's skip the labeling and go straight to branding."

If Babies Could Do Parent Diaries

"He's googling at an 8th grade level."

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

"They grow up so quickly. It seems like only yesterday that he was in the third grade. Wait, it was yesterday!"

"Talk about pressure. My parent's started a college fund."

Pushy parents and their baby.

'She won't be happy until we all join her stupid 12-step program.'

'I wouldn't worry. At that age they put everything in their mouths.'

"He's very smart. We just need to work on his focus."

"He talks the talk."

Now don't you worry. Your baby will make a smooth transition from pacifier to security blanket to cell phone like most kids.

'She's a good listener!. . . she seems so intent on what we say.'

Get with it, Stevie — walking and talking are the bottom line these days.

Child Psychologist.

'He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites.

"I'm sorry I'm late, Mrs. Mead. We're going through another divorce."

"Do you think our son is growing up too fast?"

"I never get what I want."

Playpen escape hatch.

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Children's education

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

Early childhood development

'Look, dear. Her first opinion.'