Child Development Nerd Gifts

'Knows right from left, can skip, play well with others...I'm very impressed.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"They grow up so fast."

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"She's been so creative lately."

"He likes it."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'What's play?'

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

Twenty-first century baby walker

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"When did she start crawling?"

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

"So, what do you do for play?"

The Age of Reptiles. . .

Baby Mozart.

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."