Child Development Gifts

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

"We won't know till they're older which one is the evil twin."

'My father says, these intelligence tests are biased towards the intelligent.'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"First they make you button your own shirt, then they make you tie your own shoes...you gotta ask yourself ? where's this all heading?"

'He's at that difficult age: 0 to 16.'

'Dude, don't do it. Somewhere down the road it will lead to chores.'

'You'll have to excuse George: he suffers from perfectly normal child disorder.'

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

Praise works best when it comes straight after the positive behaviour.

"Do you have any hopeless little drongos?"

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

'But Mom, can't I just skip puberty and go straight to mid-life crisis?'

'Gimme like whattayacallit...'

'Let me go over your symptoms again; you have a 'gugu' and you're feeling a little 'bugaga'.'

Kid to mom: 'Will I ever run out of questions?'

'Children grow up so fast nowdays, The baby just text-messaged me for a fresh bottle of milk'

'With Jesse Caldwell's family moving out of town, I've been promoted in the playground pecking order.'

"I would share, but I'm not there developmentally."

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

'Timmy's very bright for his age. He knows nearly all his ABC's!'

"I've learned so much from my mistakes, I've decided to keep making them!"

'His vocabulary is tiny, but effective.'

"Timothy, success is nothing to fear."

"At what age can we expect him to understand digital technology?"

"He's at that annoying age where they're always testing you."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"Which one generates the most synapses?"

'My parents didn't want me getting left behind in the system.'

'Okay, I'm walking now. I need a mobile device.'

'I can't make it tonight. I have to attend my mother's lecture series on responsibility.'

'I'm worried: He still can't balance a ball on his nose...'

'You didn't play 'Baby Einstein' tapes while Tyler was In Utero?'

'She has great communication skills.'

The Ins and Outs of childhood