Child Development Gifts

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

"We won't know till they're older which one is the evil twin."

'My father says, these intelligence tests are biased towards the intelligent.'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"First they make you button your own shirt, then they make you tie your own shoes...you gotta ask yourself ? where's this all heading?"

'He's at that difficult age: 0 to 16.'

'Dude, don't do it. Somewhere down the road it will lead to chores.'

'You'll have to excuse George: he suffers from perfectly normal child disorder.'

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

"Do you have any hopeless little drongos?"

Praise works best when it comes straight after the positive behaviour.

'So what's new?' 'Everything.'

'But Mom, can't I just skip puberty and go straight to mid-life crisis?'

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

'Gimme like whattayacallit...'

Kid to mom: 'Will I ever run out of questions?'

'With Jesse Caldwell's family moving out of town, I've been promoted in the playground pecking order.'

'Let me go over your symptoms again; you have a 'gugu' and you're feeling a little 'bugaga'.'

'Children grow up so fast nowdays, The baby just text-messaged me for a fresh bottle of milk'

"I would share, but I'm not there developmentally."

'Timmy's very bright for his age. He knows nearly all his ABC's!'

"At what age can we expect him to understand digital technology?"

"I've learned so much from my mistakes, I've decided to keep making them!"

'His vocabulary is tiny, but effective.'

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

"Timothy, success is nothing to fear."

"Which one generates the most synapses?"

'She has great communication skills.'

"I realise that it shows a lack of maturity .. But I like baby talk."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

'Okay, I'm walking now. I need a mobile device.'

'I'm worried: He still can't balance a ball on his nose...'

'You didn't play 'Baby Einstein' tapes while Tyler was In Utero?'

"He's at that annoying age where they're always testing you."

'My parents didn't want me getting left behind in the system.'