Child's Development Phase Gifts

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"They grow up so fast."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

"He likes it."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"She's been so creative lately."

'The child is very illogical'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Twenty-first century baby walker

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

'What's play?'

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"When did she start crawling?"

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

Baby Mozart.

"So, what do you do for play?"

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."