Child's Development Phase Pillows

Baby on a potty holding up a No.2 sign.

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"They grow up so fast."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

"He likes it."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"She's been so creative lately."

'The child is very illogical'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

'What's play?'

Twenty-first century baby walker

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"When did she start crawling?"

"So, what do you do for play?"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

Baby Mozart.

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'