Child Development Milestones Pillows

"Little Timmy had to learn to talk early because everything in out home is voice controlled."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

"When did she start crawling?"

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

'Baby's first two-step.'

Baby Screen Time

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Their daughter plays the violin.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

One!

Baby has used blocks to spell out 'SO VERY BORED'.

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

His verbal skills are developing, but his motor skills are very advanced. (Originally published on 2009-02-01).

"Wait! I don't want to be disease resistant!"

Early childhood development

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

Sparkler

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

Dominant hand reveal party

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

They grow up so fast, so we're already putting money away for bail.

'We think he has a future in politics.'

"There's my very first school - where I learned how to hug."

"We're a great team, Sash—you with your small and large motor skills, me with my spatial awareness and hand-eye coördination."

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'