Toddler Phase Pillows

"She does this when she's tired."

Quiet Time

'Excuse me mom, I've got to take a call.'

The terrible 2's. It was an awful stage.

'I hope she doesn't bring it to the off leash area.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

Swan Fairy Tales

"He likes it."

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

The No No No's

'At lone at last.'

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

'Beware of teething baby.'

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

"I mean, he does have a point."

"Yeah, I've noticed it too: Young Master's smell has changed a lot since he's become a teenager..."

'I know Jesus spoke in parables. Now for the last time, tell me exactly where you put my car keys.'

'My lawyer will get us out of here. This is a clear breach of human rights.'

'Do these come in blue?'

"If you're going to drink, we'd rather you do it in the house where we can party with you."

"Before we start on the main agenda does anybody need money to take them to the tinkle room?"