Toddler Phase Pillows

"She does this when she's tired."

Quiet Time

'Excuse me mom, I've got to take a call.'

The terrible 2's. It was an awful stage.

'I hope she doesn't bring it to the off leash area.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

'Teenagers!'

"He likes it."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

Swan Fairy Tales

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

The No No No's

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

'At lone at last.'

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

'Beware of teething baby.'

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

"Yeah, I've noticed it too: Young Master's smell has changed a lot since he's become a teenager..."

"I mean, he does have a point."

'I know Jesus spoke in parables. Now for the last time, tell me exactly where you put my car keys.'

'My lawyer will get us out of here. This is a clear breach of human rights.'