Toddler Years Pillows

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Parenting is... watching them sleep.

The No No No's

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

A young Don King

"He likes it."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

Swan Fairy Tales

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

'At lone at last.'

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

"She does this when she's tired."

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

Quiet Time

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

'Excuse me mom, I've got to take a call.'

"I mean, he does have a point."

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."

'I know Jesus spoke in parables. Now for the last time, tell me exactly where you put my car keys.'

'I know how you like things to be clean, so I gave fishy a bath!"