Toddler Years Pillows

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Parenting is... watching them sleep.

The No No No's

Potty trainers hotline

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

A young Don King

Swan Fairy Tales

"He likes it."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

'At lone at last.'

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

'I changed my mind...I'm not thirsty anymore.'

"She does this when she's tired."

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

Quiet Time

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

'Excuse me mom, I've got to take a call.'

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."

"I mean, he does have a point."