Infant Development Gifts

"She's cute all right. But, whoa, what a narcissist!"

Help me!

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"They grow up so fast."

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"She's been so creative lately."

"He likes it."

'The child is very illogical'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'What's play?'

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

Twenty-first century baby walker

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"When did she start crawling?"

"So, what do you do for play?"

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Baby Mozart.

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"