Early Childhood Development Gifts

'The child is very illogical'

"Where's your nose?"

"He knows how to read and write. We want him to learn how to speak."

"But the legacy I'd truly like to leave is creating music that future generations will use to sedate overstimulated toddlers."

"Wait, is this a playdate?"

'He knows a few words, but he can't really process them yet.'

Kids today

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"They grow up so fast."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"Look Mommy, hat!"

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

Baby Piano

"He likes it."

"She's been so creative lately."

Interior design trends for parents....

Pool attached to child's bed.

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

'What's play?'

Twenty-first century baby walker

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.