Early Childhood Gifts

Little girl to baby: Is that a good book?

'Statistically, drooling is only cute for the first six months. After that we'll have to start screaming in public to get any kind of attention.'

"Try verbalizing it."

Friendship.

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

'Mom. This is a no-go. Can we try again tomorrow?'

Terrible Twos Bullying

"Can you sat daddy? Daddy, say daddy."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"They grow up so fast."

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

Baby Piano

Pool attached to child's bed.

Interior design trends for parents....

'The child is very illogical'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

Today we learned to count to one.

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

Tree house.

'He's maturing early.'

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

Teddy bear with a red balloon.

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."