Child Development Specialist Gifts

Cut-Rate Think Tanks - Now available for hire.

"At what age can we expect him to understand digital technology?"

"He's at that annoying age where they're always testing you."

"Don't worry! Me, not only did I have a lisp, I had a stutter as well, but thanks to a great speech therapist, it's all behind me now..."

In the Guru District

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"They grow up so fast."

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

"She's been so creative lately."

"He likes it."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

Twenty-first century baby walker

'What's play?'

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"When did she start crawling?"

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

"So, what do you do for play?"

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

Baby Mozart.

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'