Child Specialist Gifts

"Four out of five pediatricians agree that the fifth pediatrician is a moron."

'Treating 'Owies' for over 25 years.'

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

In the Guru District

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"They grow up so fast."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"She's been so creative lately."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'The child is very illogical'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"That's not how I sat on you."

Super-Papi moves swiftly to defeat the evil Electronico!

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Children's artwork exhibition.

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

'What's play?'

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"I need to know who started it."

"You're welcome."

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

'I am so proud: My kids are finally fighting all the time!'

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"