Baby Care Gifts

"Let me guess -- first child?"

Child Development: 'He's developing just fine, those babies in the commercials aren't really talking.'

'Dude, don't do it. Somewhere down the road it will lead to chores.'

'Forget the wheel. Invent diapers.'

'Hey kid, what are you in for?'

'The good looking one is mine!'

Babies who Lunch.

'The more you drink the more I produce.'

New parents refusing to change their baby's nappy

'Wait a minute...what am I doing? I can't count yet.'

'Hey look, the shiny thing is shining... just like yesterday... and last week... man I wish they'd put a tv in here.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"Oooglie oooglie googlie googlie..." "Who is this person? Where's the one with the milk?"

'Here, take this. It came in handy when I used to change your nappy.'

'This is boring. This uterus could sure do with a fast forward button.'

Oops.

'A little help please.'

'Settle down now and Daddy will take you for a nice ride.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'We mustn't frighten the new baby...'

'I'm not too sure about that.'

"Oh, he's cute, all right, but he's got the temperament of a car alarm."

"You see it as half full, I see his diaper as half empty."

Preparing for a new arrival

"We're never going to be able to give Moses a bath, are we?"

"I dunno. It just doesn't "feel" like a diaper."

'I really don't like breast-feeding, but it's really good therapy for her.'

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

The Bloomsbury Christening

"But is my way the best way to do it???"

"If you cover them, it keeps them from going bad."

A postwoman delivers mail together with her baby who is riding in the letter carrier.

Wow! Look at these cool shower presents. Nature's Baby Boutique. 100% natural baby soaps, changing pads, bottle holders, safety gates and classical music tapes. Plus stroller, crib and swaddling blankets. Without all this stuff � How could you ever have a natural baby?

Maternity Hospital

"Same old same old. How about you?"