Baby Care Expert Gifts

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

In the Guru District

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Madonna of the Pukes.

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Pool attached to child's bed.

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Same old same old. How about you?"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

'I'm not too sure about that.'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'So this is goodbye then!'

A postwoman delivers mail together with her baby who is riding in the letter carrier.

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

Maternity Ward

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?