Childcare Gifts

"Now, now, let's try using our NPR voice."

"She does this when she's tired."

'It must be nice having a job where you can work at home.'

Crying parent holds crying baby.

'To err is human. To really mess up, we've got to do some planning.'

'He's at that difficult age: 0 to 16.'

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

Child Development: 'He's developing just fine, those babies in the commercials aren't really talking.'

"I recommend an epidural, at least until they're off to school."

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

'I love the peace & quiet you get at camp.'

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"I liked recess a lot better before the safety helmets."

'Have a good day, sweetie. Mommy has to go to the office now and attempt to drive a stake through the heart of her competitors.'

'We're quite excited. We think he's developing his first disorder.'

'It was a great idea to open a day care center for kids whose parents are hunting and gathering.'

'Don't try to turn tail and run. That's just what they want.'

'To sped up our sandbox compliance issues I've called in a couple of sandbox experts.'

'What are you in for?'

"I didn't want anything. I just wanted to see how fast you could get here in case of an emergency!"

'I took my parents for granted until I had kids of my own. I don't know what I'd do if they weren't here to raise them.'

Breastfeeding - "When it's my turn, can I use this?"

'You never make the same mistake twice. You always come up with a new one.'

Children with fingers in dam at Amsterdam day care center

'Superbaby...More powerful than an electric breast pump!'

'She just came down the stairs without walking.'

'Why yes, I do remember little Timmy.'

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

'My chiropractor said that since I had the twins my posture has improved.'

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

"Do we have to use our inside voices through clenched teeth like you, Ms. Baker?"

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

Family Dentistry: 'Floss properly, or we tell your kid who the tooth fairy really is.'

"Why would a monster be under your bed? And even if there was, what the heck could I do about it?"