Child Care Provider Gifts

'I think I'll take her to the zoo today.'

"That's the trouble with the nursery slopes, crowded with ski-ing nannies!"

"I'm not a babysitter; I'm a child care provider!"

City Zoo: Day Care

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

In the Guru District

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

Madonna of the Pukes.

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Children's Parties

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

The Baby Walker

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Interior design trends for parents....

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'The child is very illogical'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'