Child Care Gifts

In the Guru District

The Fletchers leave their baby with a sitter for the first time.

Kid screaming 'I want a supernanny!'

'If you're happy to demand feed we'll get along just fine.'

'I'm worried he might be dyslexic!'

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"We teach them that the world can be an unpredictable, dangerous and sometimes frightening place, while being careful not to spoil their lovely innocence. It's tricky."

Quality Time

3 days without an accident.

"You are the best mom ever."

"The kids just played quietly all night, like kids do."

Drive-thru Day-care

"My Mom lets me go wherever I want. I'm free-range"

'But that's the baby you took in.'

You know, the snowballs we get in the summer are better. They're flavored!

'I just want to know. When did 'Octomorn' become such a bad thing?'

"Oh Oh... I Think I'm Stuck!"

He was at that awkward age.

'Mom. This is a no-go. Can we try again tomorrow?'

'Count the kids.'

'You mean they don't come with an instruction manual?'

'Mum!' - 'Gah. What?' - 'I can't sleep.' - 'It's okay. Just lie quietly with your eyes closed.' - 'That sounds boring.' - 'Not to me, it doesn't.'

'Don't clean me up too good... no one will recognize me.'

"Teddy wants a glass of water."

"No screen time means more scream time."

"They're cute. What are they for?"

'Alix is blowing up her baby pool. . . Holly's making fun of her. . . so things are back to normal.'

"Tell the truth, Ezra. Does it look like he's being a more effective parent than me?"

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

"Surely, checking the baby monitor doesn't count toward your screen time."

We're very disappointed. We thought the nanny had raised you better than this.

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Obese and lazy man puts the pram on a treadmill.

'Your Mom's going to happy hour. Let's order pizza.'

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."