Baby Braggers Pillows

'She's already gotten a job offer from Microsoft!'

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Cry babies.

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'The child is very illogical'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"Same old same old. How about you?"

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Mother Nature

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"He's such a fussy eater."

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'I'm not too sure about that.'

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'