Baby Commentator Pillows

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

'If he hasn't got a name yet, how do we know he's ours?'

Proud mums.

Baby talk 101 - Whaaaaa! 'This is a good one. It means, 'Until my every need is met, your life will be hell'.'

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

'I guess I wasn't thinking. I bought a return ticket.'

"No chance of accumulating frequent birthing points in here. This is the only trip I'll take."

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

"He feels the honey-citrus glaze overpowers the plum."

Fat Kid 18- Makes lego dentures

The number of couples separating keeps growing.

"We don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, as long as it’s not annoying."

"Look! the poor kid's prematurely BALD!"

'My god, he's insane.'

'I've had four litters and I don't get as much as a head butt on Mothers Day.'

"Baby FOMO."

'Isn't he a little young for sideburns?'

'Wait a minute...what am I doing? I can't count yet.'

"Personnel can't fund maternity cover,but they will second someone to come around and coo oooh! aah! when the baby's born..."

"You are accused of throwing your toys out of the pram."

'My teacher gives me a note to take home to my mother almost every day. I think they're pen pals.'