Baby Chatter Enthusiast Pillows

'Really? He has his father's nose?... Is his father Cyrano De Bergerac?'

"We don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, as long as it’s not annoying."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

First Word

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Maternity Ward

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

'How many fingers do you see?'

"Give her some space! She's overdosing on baby talk!"

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

Maternity Hospital

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

"What are you in for?"

Giving Birth

'Well, he certainly has his Father's vocabulary.'

Proud mums.

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

'I thought I might try a bit of Stand-up.'

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

New Dad.

'A work in Progress.'

'Mum's water have broken and she's called the doctor. I may be wrong but I'd be calling the plumber!!'

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

"My owners aren't baby talking to me anymore. I'm going to be replaced by a real baby!"