Baby Braggers Gifts

'She's already gotten a job offer from Microsoft!'

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Cry babies.

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'The child is very illogical'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"Same old same old. How about you?"

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

Whoa

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Mother Nature

"He's such a fussy eater."

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

'I'm not too sure about that.'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."