Awkward Questioner Gifts

'I understand all about sex, Dad...But what good is it?'

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

What price beauty?

Do Guns Kill?

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

Ostrich Curoisities

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

Upside down question mark hanging from fishing line.

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

God hounded by the media.

"Tell me about yourself... what you do, where you live, the last four digits of your social security number..."

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

"Does this bird make me look fat?"

Frequently Asked Questions

'But what is a recession, Father?'

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'Bill, I'm sorry to hear about your going into the hospital. Is it a MALE problem?'

"So, when are you gonna find a woman?"

Wow! — this discredits all my theories.

"Does this mean I have to talk to someone I don't know?"

Send. End.

"I'm not used to communicating face-to-face. Can we conduct this interview via text?"

'The streets of Dodge City fell eerily quiet as the market researchers strode into town.'