Awkward Questioner Prints

'I understand all about sex, Dad...But what good is it?'

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

What price beauty?

Do Guns Kill?

"Daddy, why do people pull round pizza from square boxes and cut them into triangles before they eat them?"

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Ostrich Curoisities

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

Why can't you use the brains God gave you? Oh, shoot, I think this is Bob's.

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

Upside down question mark hanging from fishing line.

God hounded by the media.

"Tell me about yourself... what you do, where you live, the last four digits of your social security number..."

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Celestial Sadie, In the Western sky after sunset, Jupitor can be seen nearly aligned with Venus. What do you make of this? R. Yates. Excellent question. That reminds me of a long lost civilization, in which there was no such thing as a typo. Where no one ever hit the wrong key because they wrote letters by hand. Eventually, it became so obsessed with speed that it began typing everything, and so inconsiderate that it soon stopped bothering to proo

"Does this bird make me look fat?"

'But what is a recession, Father?'

'Bill, I'm sorry to hear about your going into the hospital. Is it a MALE problem?'

Wow! — this discredits all my theories.

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

"Did you say girl cheese sandwiches? Why can't I have a boy cheese sandwich?"

"So, when are you gonna find a woman?"

Frequently Asked Questions

"Does this mean I have to talk to someone I don't know?"

Send. End.

"I'm not used to communicating face-to-face. Can we conduct this interview via text?"