Quirky Questioner Prints

How often do you answer random questions?

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

'Why is it when you're looking for something, you always find it in the last place you look?'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

'And you call yourself a lawyer?'

"Are these one-syllable words, 'Well' and 'actually'?"

"How long have you been delusional?"

"What has one horn and gives milk?"

Frequently Asked Questions

"So when are you going - to invent the boat?"

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

Wow! — this discredits all my theories.

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Chicken Next Exit, Egg 1 Mile, Or Is It The Other Way Around?

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

"Things are going well, so I may as well ask: how about those Mets? Ha-ha, just kidding. The tail. Please fix this tail thing."

Ostrich Curoisities

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'Where do we go when we get swatted?'

'I'm sorry I can't offer you the job, but before you go, could I feel your head?'

"Sorry, but that's one of the things you're better off not knowing."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

Funky Facts: Football.

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

Do Guns Kill?

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."