Awkward Date Enjoyer Pillows

"If it's all the same to you, Kevin, I'd like to continue observing the six-foot-rule."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

In Desperate Straits.

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

Woman finds sensitive mechanic to date.

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

'I think I met Frank at the circus.'

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

Sorry, I don't play footsie on the first date. Neither do I. I guess that leaves rats.

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

"Well, Arnold, it's been fun."

"Our violinist isn't here tonight, but Tony here will be happy to play something romantic on his cymbals for you."

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

We've been dating for about 30 minutes, so things are still going well. Please send over the waiter immediately, before everything goes down the toilet. Menu.

'What happens when your little sister misses her toy money?'

Man wearing t-shirt with "As seen" slogan

Nethead strip: Dates

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

"Would you ask the chef to hurry? We're running out of conversation."

"These are the best seats. Remember when they used to put us next to the bus stop?"

'Can you suggest a wine to go with someone who's going to be hitting the road as soon as this date is over?'

Your shoulders are like silk. For some reason, when my skin crawls, it feels smooth.

'I'm a herbologist. I study this guy.'

Dr Atkins on a date: 'Why does he keep looking at me like I'm a piece of meat?'

'It's our anniversary... make it two toppings.'

"Well, would you like to tell me anything about you now or shall I carry on where I left off?"