Awkward Dating Enthusiast Pillows

"I'm crazy about you, Lynn, but with the wind chill factor I just want to be good friends."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

In Desperate Straits.

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"You lack spontaniety."

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Biological Cuckoo clock

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Ostrich Bar

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

Woman finds sensitive mechanic to date.

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"Yes, we met on a blind date, or in your father's case, a blind drunk date."

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'