Awkward Dating Enthusiast Pillows

"I'm crazy about you, Lynn, but with the wind chill factor I just want to be good friends."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

In Desperate Straits.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

"You lack spontaniety."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

Biological Cuckoo clock

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

Ostrich Bar

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

My personal ad specifically said I was a "dog person who enjoys walks on the beach."

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

Woman finds sensitive mechanic to date.

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"Yes, we met on a blind date, or in your father's case, a blind drunk date."

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

I've been going on a lot of first dates lately, but nobody wants to go out with me for a second date on Valentine's Day. The architect made other plans and the banker has no interest in seeing me again. The pilot doesn't see our relationship getting off the ground and the teacher thinks one date was enough --- she said she learned her lesson. What about the dietitian? I thought you two had a great time. We did --- but she's looking for somebody higher up the food chain.

"What if I dress up like a Chihuahua?"