Awkward Date Aficionados Pillows

"Why don't you go back to your house for dessert and coffee?"

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

'Hand me your issue of esquire. I have a hot date.'

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"Darling, wait until you taste the new year's menu I have ordered for us!"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Next, time, we'll meet at my place.'

In Desperate Straits.

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"You're right. This is better than sex."

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

Spud dating.

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

"Our violinist isn't here tonight, but Tony here will be happy to play something romantic on his cymbals for you."

'A table for two?'

'What happens when your little sister misses her toy money?'

"If it's all the same to you, Kevin, I'd like to continue observing the six-foot-rule."

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

Nethead strip: Dates

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

"Wouldn't it be easier just to go to another restaurant."

"These are the best seats. Remember when they used to put us next to the bus stop?"

'Can you suggest a wine to go with someone who's going to be hitting the road as soon as this date is over?'

Ventrilamatch.com

'I'm a herbologist. I study this guy.'