Aviary Aficionados Gifts

'We wanna open a budgie account...'

'It says we should start flying south by southwest in a 'V' formation at 7:57 Wednesday morning.'

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

Why Superman flies himself

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

"I'm pleased that you have finally come home, I can't get the parrot back into its cage."

'It's a chicken.'

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

"Polly wants a flu shot."

'...and I'm telling you that Budgie sneezed!!'

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

The One That Newton Missed

'I've lost the urge to repeat everything...'

'Here's a bag of nuts if you get hungry.'

"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

'I wouldn't be so concerned if they weren't already sitting in the exit row.'

"You fly into a window, too?"

Couple putting baby through the scanner.

Monkey dropping apples on Newton's head.

"Maybe we'd kiss better if we had lips."

'She says she has a prenatal appointment.'

'They're out there, they swallow your stuff, and who're you gonna call?'

'Could you recommend a fruit that works for lawyers?'

"Half a dozen brown—three large, three jumbo!"

The aviation experts come out to play

'How is it on gas? I was afraid you were going to ask me that.'

"Well that's just great!! I guess we really are flightless birds now!!"

"What do you mean you don't think I'm the father?!"

'We'd like to start by boarding anyone with hot food they've been waiting to eat on the plane.'