Avian Advisor Gifts

High Level Talks.

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

So you're a mocking bird...

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day. Teach a man to fish and you can charge a consulting fee."

Bird Torture.

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Birds reading over woman's shoulder

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

'I think he's lonely.'

"Just go with the workflow."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

"Remember, Man of good Sense not here to do work on your behalf. Man of good Sense only here to help you on strategic level until you wise enough to overcome recession."

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

Caliologist

"I can definitely give you my two cents, Sir – just let me know how you want it: Bitcoin, Paypal, or Venmo."

'It may well be nesting J.T but damn it, you've got a company to turn.'

Birds doing the 'wave'.