Avian Property Manager Gifts

Bird House for Rent.

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

"I see you've security marked your property."

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

"Look, son, real estate."

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Caliologist

"I rented out the basement."

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'I'll say this for you young Thoreu - he certainly does make good use of his pond.'

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

"Privare equity bought the dam and jacked up rent. Nests are next."

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

"The pH level seems a little off."

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

'You've got just 2 minutes to pack then you are on OUR time and I'm going to start charging you rent!'

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

'Relax Cookie. I'll call the mold monster experts!'