Property Manager Gifts

"I would die, but I have a rent-controlled apartment."

'I'm just sayin', maybe we should look for another real estate agent!'

'Supply' and 'Demand' arm wrestle keeping the 'Industrial real estate market' steady

'Phase Two : More of the same'

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"It's the co-op board!"

'Good point. It's been on the market far too long. I'll change the picture. I shouldn't be smiling.'

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors, slip-and-fall warning, and, barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

Realtor from the Black Lagoon

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'The lease says, 'No Pets'! Chickens ain't pets!'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'I'm presuming by the amount of rent you're asking for, it includes a full-time butler, maid and gardening staff!'

'I've never known people who take as many baths as they do!'

'I'll take it!'

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

"Does the co-op board have any idea when the elevators will be replaced?"

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

"The rules don't say anything about Airbnb-ing your property to help pay off the mortgage."

'We need to update our gravel, install a fake treasure chest, and get one of those lifelike scuba divers. Apparently, it's all about curb appeal.'

'Well what a coincidence! I was in property too!'

The King and His Real Estate Advisors

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

Real Estate Depression

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

"He huffed and he puffed and he increased our rent."

'Relax Cookie. I'll call the mold monster experts!'

"Just to let you know - we're putting up your rent again..."

'These days you're lucky to have a sound tenant.'

Large 'Demand' over stepping tiny 'Supply' sign.

'I don't know about you, but I could do with a break.'

"Once upon a time there were three little pigs who had this real sweetheart of a rent-controlled deal."

'Your tenancy deposit will be held and protected securely in accordance with an authorised statutory scheme which is supervised by Big Larry, here ...'

'The builder is behind schedule but my lease was up at my previous location.'