Property Manager T-Shirts

"I would die, but I have a rent-controlled apartment."

'I'm just sayin', maybe we should look for another real estate agent!'

'Supply' and 'Demand' arm wrestle keeping the 'Industrial real estate market' steady

'Phase Two : More of the same'

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"It's the co-op board!"

'Good point. It's been on the market far too long. I'll change the picture. I shouldn't be smiling.'

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors, slip-and-fall warning, and, barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'The lease says, 'No Pets'! Chickens ain't pets!'

Realtor from the Black Lagoon

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'I'm presuming by the amount of rent you're asking for, it includes a full-time butler, maid and gardening staff!'

'I've never known people who take as many baths as they do!'

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

'I'll take it!'

'Well what a coincidence! I was in property too!'

"Does the co-op board have any idea when the elevators will be replaced?"

"Let's start a homeowner's association."

"The rules don't say anything about Airbnb-ing your property to help pay off the mortgage."

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

'We need to update our gravel, install a fake treasure chest, and get one of those lifelike scuba divers. Apparently, it's all about curb appeal.'

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

'These days you're lucky to have a sound tenant.'

The King and His Real Estate Advisors

"Just to let you know - we're putting up your rent again..."

"He huffed and he puffed and he increased our rent."

'Relax Cookie. I'll call the mold monster experts!'

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

Real Estate Depression

Large 'Demand' over stepping tiny 'Supply' sign.

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

'The builder is behind schedule but my lease was up at my previous location.'

'Your tenancy deposit will be held and protected securely in accordance with an authorised statutory scheme which is supervised by Big Larry, here ...'