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"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

"I see you've security marked your property."

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

"Look, son, real estate."

Timber preservation

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

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Reverse Mortgage.

"I rented out the basement."

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

Contest of wills.

'Ugh, we've got termites, destructive little pests.'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

"The pH level seems a little off."